Hello friends!
Today I wanted to diverge from my usual OOTD posts and do something a little bit different that might be beneficial to some of you. Since it is "motivational monday" this might be a little nudge to help you think more positively or if you already do, well, it never hurts to start off the week feeling happier and brighter.
A few months back I did a video on "
Dealing with Anxiety & Staying Positive and Happy" and because I felt like that video was such a great thing for me personally and may have been helpful for some people, I thought I would write up a little blog post and talk about how things have been lately and what I've learned about handling my anxiety and all the other little tid bits. If you haven't seen that video yet, then make sure to click the link and watch it!
Alright, watched it? Good. Let's just dive into my long and winding post (aha).
So, anxiety is something that I've been struggling with for almost a full year now. It was definitely almost a year ago that I had my first panic attack that led me to come to terms that the physical and emotional feelings that I'd been having in the previous six months had in fact been anxiety or caused by anxiety. Coming to terms with it was really difficult because despite the things I'd gone through when I was little, I'd felt that I had quite a lot of control over how things were going on in my life at the present moment, but unfortunately, I found out that I didn't, and thus, many things began to leak into one another making me feel horrid. Feeling a loss of control over our lives is normal, and I think most people experience similar feelings, but for me, it felt as though there was a gigantic drop in every part of my life and I would never be able to get back to my regular happy and positive state of mind.
Over the past year I've worked really hard to deal with my anxiety, and while panic attacks have been rare, my anxiety still pops out at random moments (and to be quite frank, I think it will continue to be something I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life). That is the most difficult part I think, the fact that I don't really know what can possibly trigger my anxiety. I've had moments of completely horrible anxiety in movie theatres, classrooms, car rides, lying in bed reading a book, talking on the phone to a friend, etc. Last year, my anxiety felt connected to a particular cause, but over the progression of the year, it's been all over the place. Even though I find it very bothersome, I have also learned how to better handle the moments when everything appears to shake at the joints instead of completely falling apart like I did last year.
I have discovered that you need to have a good support system. You need to surround yourself with people who are going to accept your anxiety and help you get through those moments that are rather poopy. Even if there is only one other person who is willing to be your support, that is all you need. Being around people who make you feel bad about yourself is only going to increase your anxiety. Even being around people who accept your anxiety but try to help you control it in their own particular way is unhealthy. We all have our own way of handling situations, and although I encourage everyone to explore all the possibilities and make themselves aware of everything, in the end, you have to be the one who makes the choices that you think will help you. Therefore, pushy people, even if they have the best intensions, are not always the best for a support system. I have found that it is very helpful to have friends or family to whom I can simply say "today my anxiety is very difficult" and they know exactly what I need to help me carry on throughout the day.
The second thing is to banish all negative thoughts and fill your life with positive things. My anxiety tends to get worse when I'm feeling negative about myself or my life, thus, learning to be positive and happy has been incredibly beneficial to my overall well-being. I've worked hard throughout the year to fill my life with lots of good things and turn all negative situations into something that is good or has the potential to be good. I've dedicated a lot of time to my YouTube channel because it makes me incredibly happy to film and edit videos. Having my channel allowed me a release during very stressful times throughout the school year that caused my anxiety to skyrocket. Having a hobby or project that is very personal to you is a wonderful way to keep your mind off of any negative situations that could possibly cause your anxiety to spark up. Even though many of my friends are now fully aware of my channel, during most of the year, knowing it was only something for me and my virtual friends was really nice and felt like an escape. As well, this past year I also let go of friendships that I felt were a tad too toxic for me, or I weakened bonds with people who constantly made me feel like I was a let down. So although my friend group might have shrunk, surrounding myself with people who are good for me, helped improve my mood, and diminished my anxiety in certain social situations. (At the same time, breaking some friendships allowed me the chance to meet new and better people).
Finally, something which I personally think is extremely important to have, is faith. Now I'm not talking faith in the religious sense, although obviously that is perfectly fine, but I'm referring to faith in ourselves. To quote a cheesy cliche, "believe in yourself." For a very long time I had an unfortunately negative outlook on myself. Whether it was my appearance, my intelligence or my choices, I would constantly put myself down. I once read that we are our biggest critics, and that is definitely correct. I used to see so much wrong in myself, that my anxiety would easily spike up. Elementary school and high school were extremely unhappy periods in my life, elementary school more so than high school. Throughout university I began to push myself to do things I never thought I could do and break free of the negativity that had grown over me in my younger years, and looking back, I accomplished so much, both academically but more importantly, socially. Yet, just throughout this year, I felt like I was never good enough for anything, it made me very unhappy that I was looking down on myself, so I decided to change that. I started a YouTube channel and exposing myself to so many people was very scary, but watching my progression, I've definitely become much more confident and I've grown to love myself a lot more. By finding faith in myself, I discovered that I could sit there, film a video, upload it, and let people say whatever they wanted to say and still feel good about myself.
Having faith in yourself is the hardest posible thing. I find having faith in others difficult, but turning it around to myself was even more difficult, but I can say that I am extremely happy with how things have turned out. Believing in myself and my abilities, I managed to do so much this year and achieve things that never would have even been a possibility the way I was feeling last year around this time. At the same time, having faith in others is also vital. I'm a very cautious person, and I pick my friends very carefully, but by pushing myself to have faith in people I normally wouldn't has actually been incredibly rewarding. I have opened myself up to so many more opportunities and chances, and while some have not worked out, many others have. Stepping out of my comfort zone despite any anxiety I may have felt, was a rather thrilling experience.
Additionally, on a more random note, I found that sometimes when I just really couldn't deal with my anxiety, drinking peppermint or valerian root tea was super helpful. They have natural calming powers that help relieve stress and relax you. I drank quite a lot of valerian root tea over my exam/essay period when I was finishing up my undergrad earlier in the year. I also grew quite addicted to scrolling through uplifting and happy Tumblr's. I know that sounds a bit ridiculous, but since we do live in a social networking world, cleaning up your social networks to be more happy and friendly is very helpful. I unfollowed all Tumblr's that constantly reblogged unhappy and depressing things, and whenever I felt my anxiety rising, I would log on and scroll through some very positive and uplifting ones. It sounds silly, but it's been a great help to me, proving that social networking, if done right, can be good for the well-being.
Anyways, I know this has been a long post and maybe a tad rambly, but if you read through it all, I hope that I was helpful and you feel a little bit happier. Anxiety, like I mentioned earlier, is something I will have to probably deal with for the rest of my life, and although it might get easier at certain periods, it will still take on a part of my life. The only thing that I want to remind you all is that even if anxiety is a part of your life, it doesn't have to take it over. You can work with it, and you can learn to handle it, and it will be hard, but if it was easy, the end rewards of feeling better wouldn't feel so good.
I hope you all have a lovely Monday, and talk to you soon!
Bye friends!
